


Perfect Replicas

by hauntedpanels



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: 1950s, Android GLaDOS, Angst, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Post-Portal 2, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-01-26 18:22:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21378511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hauntedpanels/pseuds/hauntedpanels
Summary: A mishap in the labs sends Chell and GLaDOS back to GLaDOS's past. Ending up on different ends of the facility, the two must make their way through old Aperture, reunite, and find a way to the present, all the while dodging familiar faces. When things don't exactly go according to plan, Chell learns how deep GLaDOS's self loathing runs as she confronts her past self.GLaDOS stared back at Caroline, the two completely fixated on each other in a way that made the two of them both uncomfortable and intrigued. GLaDOS didn’t have to ask how Caroline felt right now. She knew.
Relationships: Chell/GLaDOS
Comments: 35
Kudos: 200





	1. Highly Unstable

“Hey, slow down, will you?” GLaDOS called out after Chell. “I thought _ I _was the one showing you around. Not vice versa.”

Chell stopped in her tracks before turning around to face GLaDOS with a grin. Everyday since returning to Aperture was another adventure; things were awkward, initially, but she and GLaDOS had no trouble growing closer and closer to one another, and fun times ensued. GLaDOS promised she’d show Chell some of the back labs and unused inventions from Aperture’s forgotten days, as long as she promised to not touch a thing. It was difficult, though -- Chell loved to explore. And what was the harm in touching one, seemingly harmless little piece of metal junk--

“Get your hands off that,” GLaDOS said as she caught up to Chell, eyeing her fingers getting closer and closer to the technology. “That thing is highly unstable. This is why I said touch with your eyes. I didn’t think I’d need to reiterate that. And yet here we are.”

Chell smiled endearingly before pulling her fingers away, although she couldn’t help but turn back to eye it as they moved on to another set of objects that GLaDOS bitterly described as being stolen by Black Mesa. As GLaDOS went on her tirade, Chell sneaked back to the original innovation she’d had her eyes on: a device that looked almost like a doorway with a scanner. There were words on the device, but they were too faded to read. Chell thought maybe they were covered in dust, and she didn’t see the harm in at least touching it long enough to clear off the grime.

GLaDOS’s eyes widened as she reached out to grab Chell.

“I said don’t touch that, you don’t know what you’re--”

GLaDOS was cut off by what felt like some force of gravity was holding her down in place. She couldn’t feel GLaDOS anymore -- just the weight of the room, the sight of blinding light, and then -- sudden darkness as she was thrust down to the floor.

Chell banged on the floor to signal GLaDOS’s attention before attempting to sign an apology, but she then realized GLaDOS was no longer in the room. She wasn’t even in a room at all. She was in a warmly lit hallway with a dull, green carpet and wooden walls. It looked vaguely familiar, although nothing like the sterile environment of Aperture.

Chell stood up, brushed off her clothes, and rubbed away some of the pain in her back from where she fell. Shaking off the shock, she made her way through the hall, making one turn after the other until she stumbled upon a painfully familiar face.

It certainly wasn’t the one she was looking for, but it was definitely there and in her face. Big and glaring and obstructing her vision: a portrait of Cave Johnson. She had somehow gotten downstairs again. But how? She knew she could find a way out of here though. She’d done it before, after all. She’d been through almost all the offices and tests and could find her way back to the elevator, and thankfully it’d be without the pressure of the facility’s impending explosion. It would be just as easy as last time, if not easier. At least, that’s what she thought, until she opened the door and saw a lobby full of people.

She just stood there, mouth ajar, making the realization that she most certainly was no longer in the year she thought she was. By the way people were dressed and the decor in the lobby, Chell knew this must have been the late 50s. It was mostly a sea of men in gelled hair and suits and lab coats, but the occasional female test subject with hair tied up in ribbons and manicured nails gripping antiquated portal devices would run through. She wondered where, in all of this, Caroline was. She closed the door to the lobby and followed a hallway until she came across an empty room with offices on either side. The room was dark, but one office had a light on, prompting her to inspect what was inside.

It was also void of people, but filled with typewriters and ceramic mugs and scattered papers. She picked up a clock-radio sitting on a desk to inspect it, but set it down quickly and flipped off the lights, ducking down at the sound of footsteps approaching, followed by voices.

“Did you get that paper submitted to the National Science Symposium?”

“Yes sir, Mr. Johnson.”

Chell covered her mouth in shock and tried to peer up through the glass, hopeful to catch a glimpse of the two, but the room outside was too dim to see anything but the silhouettes of their bodies as they walked.

“And you proofread it beforehand?”

“Yes sir.”

“And did you--”

“I did everything. Relax.” She paused before lifting up her clipboard to examine the papers on it. “My turn!” she said gleefully. “Did you make that phone call to Dr. Anderson in Detroit about our pharmaceutical ventures?”

“Yes.”

“And did you get a glimpse of the list of next year’s innovation proposals so we can send it forward to our investors?”

“Check.”

“And did you get your wife a card for her birthday tomorrow?”

The question was met with silence, which made Chell silently snicker.

“Oh, don’t tell me you forgot,” Caroline lamented.

“I can get it tomorrow after work. Don’t worry.”

"Tomorrow? She'll think you forgot if you wait that long.”

“I didn’t forget. How do you even know?”

“You gave me a copy of your calendar,” she said matter-of-factly.

“I didn’t give you a copy, Caroline, I gave you the original.”

Chell could hear Caroline sigh heavily in frustration.  
“I’ll make a copy of that for you, then. But please, don’t forget the card. And get her some flowers and jewelry while you’re at it.”

“How do you know that’s what she’ll want?”

“Because I’m a woman. A woman who _ dates _women, no less. Which makes me a double-expert on women and what they want.”

Chell smiled at the comment, but was surprised Caroline was able to be so open about her personal life with her employer, especially in this decade.

He sighed. “Okay. Fine. I’ll get it after work tonight. Along with jewelry and… that other thing you mentioned.”

“Flowers, sir?”

“I knew that,” he said quickly, their voices cutting off as they made their way out of the hall.

Chell let go of the breath she’d been holding and sighed with relief that she was on her own again. It was so… strange, to hear Caroline just having a normal conversation. Her mannerisms were much more similar to GLaDOS off the recordings. It made her wish she knew where GLaDOS was. GLaDOS would know how to get out of this situation. They were together when she got zapped back, so why wasn’t she here now? She had no idea how she’d find GLaDOS, so she knew her only option was to reach out to the second closest thing. She had to ask Caroline for help.

* * *

“Where’s your quantum tunneling device?” a scientist asked as he approached Chell. “If you’re here for the repulsion gel testing track, you gotta grab one, suit up, and follow that line there.”

She nodded quickly and bolted on, every now and then stopped by a scientist informing her what test they believed she was assigned to. She kept making her way through the lobbies and halls, one turn after the other until she came upon a room that looked to be empty. It was a giant cafeteria, with soda machines against the wall next to a door leading into the kitchen. She made her way there and decided she’d try to find something to drink in the fridge and let herself have some time to calm down.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” a familiar voice said as Chell walked in, making her jump. “Test subjects can’t be back here. Liability thing.”

Chell had only seen one picture of Caroline, and it was of her at an older age, so she was most certainly taken aback by the sight before her. There was no 70s a-line dress and red scarf, but instead a fitted sweater and trousers. Her hair fell right at her shoulders, a much more vivid brown than shown in the portrait. There were no tired eyes and wrinkles yet; she still looked to be in her mid 20s. She just couldn’t believe it -- this was Caroline. This was GLaDOS. This was the love of her life, before all the tragedy struck, and here she was, drinking lemonade out of a glass already stained with her red lipstick, smiling gently as if she didn’t have a care in the world; completely oblivious to her future. It made a chill run down Chell’s spine in a way that she couldn’t tell was motivated by feeling unsettled or attracted. She decided it was likely both.

“If you’re thirsty though, I can pour you a glass, too,” she offered, turning around to grab the pitcher out of the fridge. “Mr. Johnson doesn’t leave out water fountains because he wants people to spend money at the vending machines. I know, it’s stupid.” She began pouring some for Chell. “That’s why I bring things in for everyone. He hasn’t challenged me on it yet,” she added with a grin, handing her the glass. “Although, perhaps he hasn’t noticed… he’s not all that observant. Sorry for rambling though -- I’m Caroline. You might have guessed.”

Chell nodded, still wide-eyed in awe.

“And what’s your name?”

Chell tried to motion with her hands that she couldn’t talk, and was grateful that Caroline got the message immediately.

“Oh! Are you mute?”

Chell nodded.

“Well, you can hear me, right?” she asked, leaving Chell nodding again. “I’m good with reading sign language, but not so great at using it. Can we work with that?”

Chell replied yes, and sighed with relief before signing the letters to spell her name.

“Chell. That’s pretty. Can I help you find something, Chell? Did you get lost on the way to the testing tracks?”

Chell shook her head vehemently.

“Oh, I thought you were a test subject.”

Chell shook her head again while signing, “Not anymore.”

“You seem pretty averse to the implication. I can’t really blame you,” she laughed. “Good

money, though.”

Chell had to hold back from scoffing bitterly. There was no way of telling Caroline that her future self murdered whoever was holding onto Chell’s $60.

“I’m lost,” Chell finally confessed with a down-on-her-luck expression. “Lost my friend.”

Caroline’s face turned to that of an expression of concern. “Here at Aperture?”

“She’s here somewhere…” Chell said, her expression and body language showing Caroline that she really wasn’t quite sure that was true.

“Well, look,” Caroline began, “how about I take you back to my office and we’ll try to figure out a plan. I can see if I can make some kind of announcement or something. Sound good?”

Chell nodded. She was happy to devise a plan to find her girlfriend, but she couldn’t help but admit she was excited to see Caroline’s office, to see her throw herself into her work, typing on a typewriter with her short, red painted nails and pulling the pencil from behind her ear to write little notes. Chell was so caught up in the fantasy that she didn’t even notice Caroline was already leaving. Shaking it off, she quickly followed her back to the offices in hopes that she'd learn she wasn't here all by herself.


	2. Also, Black Mesa Explodes

When GLaDOS came to, she knew exactly where she was. There was no guess about the area of the Enrichment Center, nor was there any guess on what year. She knew internally, she knew by the way the facility shifted beneath her, by the warmth of the occasionally flickering lights, by the unplugged orange clock tossed on the floor of the supply closet, by the old newspaper labelled ‘December 8th, 1957’ sitting beneath it. She most certainly was not in Kansas anymore.

She looked down at her clothes to see the tried-and-true white and black Aperture dress she’d been assigned so long ago and knew it just wouldn’t do for the situation she was in. She was in a dress with a logo that wouldn’t be implemented for decades to come. It wasn’t just a change of clothes she needed, though. She was a fully fledged supercomputer with artificial intelligence and a human consciousness -- the very first hard drive itself had only been invented one year ago. With her white hair that was not cut and curled to a mid-century standard, her pale translucent skin that had visible circuits beneath it, and her glowing yellow eyes, she knew if anyone caught sight of her, she’d be in big trouble.

She wished she knew where Chell was. Ever since the two had made amends and grown closer, she didn’t like going anywhere without her. And now she was quite literally trapped in her past with no one to help. She knew her best bet was to keep hiding until the facility closed for the night, and then to head to the physics lab and figure this out herself. She didn’t have the patience to trap herself in a closet for several hours, though. Caroline barely even had the patience to do it for the duration of her teenage years, she joked.

It didn’t take long at all for GLaDOS to get bored with herself, and she was sure she knew the facility well enough to get around without anyone noticing if she slipped out for a bit. She stood up, dusted herself off, and opened the door, quickly peeking out before exiting and shutting the door carefully behind her. On practically the tip of her toes, she sneaked towards the entry to the hall and slipped out, bumping straight into the last person she wanted to see.

Cave’s eyes widened in surprise, and GLaDOS grabbed him by the lapel of his jacket and pressed a finger to her lips, shushing him harshly.

“Don’t. Say. A word,” she whispered. “You never saw me.” She let him go and tried to move past him, but he gripped her shoulder and planted her in place.

“Uh, yeah. I don’t think so.”

GLaDOS crossed her arms. “I figured you'd say that.”

Cave looked her up and down. “Um… what are you, exactly?”

GLaDOS scoffed. “That’s hardly a nice question to ask a lady.”

“You’re an alien,” he said as if he was making a genius revelation.

GLaDOS pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’m not an-- you know what, we can’t have this conversation here. Where someone could hear us. Actually, I'd prefer we didn't have this conversation at all.”

Cave pulled out a ring of keys and motioned her to an office nearby.

“I am  _ not  _ getting in an enclosed space by myself with you,” she said bitterly, although she didn’t follow her own advice, entering first and letting him follow behind, shutting the door.

“Do we... know each other from somewhere?” he asked. “You’re acting like we’re familiar.”

GLaDOS immediately took a seat at the table in what appeared to be a conference room. “Unfortunately.”

“I think I’d remember you,” he replied, taking a seat across from her.

“You know, you’re probably the stupidest person in this building which is why I know you’re the perfect person to confide in about what’s going on,” GLaDOS began.

“Thank you... I think.”

“That wasn’t a compliment,” she replied. “Caroline’s too level headed to believe me and I hate everyone else, so you’re kind of all I’ve got.”

“Alright,” he said, encouraging her to continue.

“You don’t know me now, but we know each other--”

“In a parallel universe. Yeah. I figured.”

GLaDOS’s eyes widened. “What? No, I--”

“First of all, you’re some kind of she-robot, so that’s one dead giveaway. Second, that logo on your dress was one of my original drafts for Aperture’s logo, so evidently it's the one that got used in your universe. And third, we just met and you already act like I’ve screwed you over in some terrible way I don’t know about. So obviously parallel universe Cave is just really awful or something. Hopefully still as handsome, though.” He clapped his hands together. "I've actually been working on cracking the multiverse for a while now. I'm a little pissed this other Cave beat me to it, but hey, it's still impressive."

"You really are just as stupid as I remember."

"Remember?" He paused, looking at the logo on her dress again. 

"Yes," GLaDOS groaned. "Remember. As in a past event. As in -- you know what, why am I even bothering? You're so dense. You always were."

"Keep in mind whose facility you're in. I could just have one of my lab boys come in and find your off switch or whatever. Have some respect."

"Earn it," GLaDOS said snapped back.

"Give me a reason why I should have to," he proposed.

GLaDOS nearly rolled her eyes. "Because I'm--" she stopped cold.

Cave eyed her, hoping for a continuation.

"Because your assistant made me," she improvised. "All by herself." She had to admit this lie was a desperate attempt for Cave to stop doubting Caroline's scientific capabilities, but she didn't stop to think if it might have consequences.

"No help at all?”

“Not one bit,” she boasted.

“I always thought I’d be the one to pioneer artificial intelligence.”

“Well, she beat you to it. And she did a good job, too.”

“It was Aperture who was first, right?”

“Thanks to Caroline.”

Cave looked impressed, but he didn't verbalize it. He instead sat quietly, looking at her intently before continuing. “So… if you’re really from the future, you can tell me anything, right?”

“I’m not a fortune teller.”

“No, I mean, who’s the next president? I wanna know who to not vote for, just for the fun of it.”

GLaDOS rolled her eyes. “Not the question I expected. But it’s John F. Kennedy. Oh, and he gets assassinated.”

“Night out at the theater?”

“Good one. But no. He got shot in his car.”

“That’s not very responsible of him.”

“And after that, Lyndon Johnson is the next president. Then Richard Nixon -- who resigns after some huge scandal, which would be funny if it wasn’t a sad reflection of our American political system.”

“That sure is a lot of words.”

“Also, Black Mesa explodes.”

“Alright, now  _ that  _ is a set of words I understand,” he said with a laugh. “Can I ask something else?”

“I’m not telling you anything else. You’ll start asking questions about Aperture Science that I don’t care to answer. Some things are better left discovered by yourself.” She leaned back. “It’s insanely disturbing how keen you are to believe me on all this. And it’s even worse that you’re so relaxed about it.”

“I’ve seen weirder.”

“And you’ll continue to see weirder,” she said. “It’ll make you lose your humanity. And it will turn you into the worst version of yourself, and--” She cut herself off, pursing her lips.

“I guess you won’t answer me if I ask what I did to you,” he said.

“Not a chance in hell, sir,” she said quietly.

Cave sighed. “Look, I don’t know why you’re mad at me or what I did but at least let me help you get back to where you come from.”

“No. You’re not capable of that. You’re not a scientist.”

“Yes I--”

“You’re not fooling anyone, Mr. Johnson. Especially not me.”

He laughed. “You sound like my assistant.”

GLaDOS almost wanted to reply with a sarcastic ‘I get that a lot,’ but held her tongue. She couldn’t tell him, couldn’t let him guess. It would be almost as if she gave him the idea right here and now, letting it become a self fulfilling prophecy. Then she’d have no one but herself to blame. “I’ll take that as a compliment,” she finally landed on.

“She’s one hell of a lady,” he confirmed.

GLaDOS rolled her eyes. “I don’t need you to help me get back. I need you to leave me in this room with something to do to occupy myself, then let me get to the labs after you close up for the day without saying a word to anyone else. I can do this on my own. Understood?”

“I don’t care if we know each other in the future. Hell, I don’t care if we’re best friends in the future. You’re a stranger to me now, which means I do not trust you in my facility like that.”

GLaDOS gritted her teeth. “Don’t be stupid,” she spat, standing up from her chair to stare him down in intimidation. “I trusted you  _ so  _ much. The least you can do is return the favor. I promise you you’ll end up a lot less hurt than I did.” GLaDOS’s face softened once she realized her outburst. She quickly tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and sat back down.

“What on earth did I do to you?”

She shook her head. “You know I can’t tell you that. Just -- help me. Please? I don’t think I’m here alone. My friend was with me before, and I think -- or, I’m hoping -- that she’s around here somewhere and that we just didn’t… land in the same place. I’m not asking you to trust me yet. I just… I need to find her. Then we can figure out what to do next.”

Cave looked taken aback for a moment by something GLaDOS wasn’t sure what, before shaking it off and responding. “What does she look like?”

“Straight black hair to her shoulders. Brown skin, grey eyes, average height. Was wearing denim and a plain grey t-shirt. Wasn’t wearing makeup. With the way she’s dressed, she’ll stand out if she’s hanging around here somewhere.”

“You’re telling me that in future modern society, women just wear… denim and undershirts?”

“They do if they’re butch,” GLaDOS muttered.

“You sit tight, then, and I’ll have a look,” he said, pushing himself up from his seat.

“You can’t let anyone else know I’m here except for her,” GLaDOS insisted.

“This door locks from the outside, so you can get out but only someone with keys can get in,” he reassured her. “Don’t worry. No one will see you,” he added as he slipped out the door, leaving GLaDOS in heavy silence.

She didn’t want to enlist his help. She really didn’t. She didn’t want to see him ever again. This was honest to god what she believed her nightmares would entail if she could sleep. Now that she was here again, in the comfort of old Aperture, she just wanted it all back. She wanted that blissful ignorance. She wanted to meet up with her old friends at the diner down the street, to have brown hair again, to take a deep breath; she wanted to cry. That was the worst part about no longer being fully human: she had the urge to cry, but the tears would never fall. So instead she just sat there, processors whirring in her frustration, hands gripped into tight fists, seething in her hatred for Cave Johnson and hoping Chell would be the next face to walk through that door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I already have the following chapter written so it should be out soon.


	3. Humanity, the Mindset

Caroline’s eyes perked up as someone entered the office, and Chell turned her head around to lock eyes on Cave.

He laughed. “Well. I was coming in here to ask you if you’d seen a girl around here that looked like that,” he said, pointing at Chell. “Mystery solved.”

Chell smiled, hoping it was GLaDOS who’d sent him on a chase for her. She couldn’t imagine why GLaDOS would ask him for help, but the main thing on her mind was the relief she felt knowing she wasn’t trapped in the past all by herself.

“Your friend’s worried sick about you, you know,” he said, tapping on Chell’s shoulder.

“She’s here? You found her, then?” Caroline asked with a smile. “You must feel much more at ease, Chell.”

Chell nodded and stood up, hoping Cave would show her the way.

“I’m glad I caught you though, sir, because I have some things I want to run by you,” she said, following the two of them out.

Chell’s eyes widened in panic at the thought of Caroline tagging along and possibly seeing her future self, but she tried not to be rude and let it show.

“I’m thinking maybe we should discontinue the repulsion gel and work on something a little less prone to injuries?” she asked hopefully as they made their way to the conference room.

“Pardon?”

She laughed awkwardly, and Chell was trying to contain her laughter too. “It’s just that Dr. Donovan has been complaining a lot lately at the amount of broken limbs he’s had to dress…”

“So is this Lenny’s complaint or yours?”

Caroline snorted. “Lenny, pfft. I’d kill myself if I had that first name.” She paused. “Anyway, it’s  _ Lenny’s  _ complaint,” she said.

“So why is he not coming to me about it?”

“He was afraid you’d fire him, sir.”

“I’m not firing him. He’s a fine doctor. Even if his complaints are stupid and wrong.”

“I wish you’d fire him,” Caroline said, eyes widening as she realized her comment slipped out.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” he said as they approached the door.

* * *

“I just think he’s not the most hard working employee here at Aperture,” GLaDOS heard from outside the door. She instinctively knew who this was about, even without a name being mentioned. Dr. Leonard Donovan, also known as one of the most vile employees Aperture Science ever had to offer, next to Henry and Cave Johnson himself. Unfortunately, his employment was never terminated, but she knew Caroline didn’t see the harm in trying.

“Don’t give me that,” Cave said lightheartedly. “We both know you just don’t like him.”

GLaDOS heard the keys rattle in the door, and she realized she wouldn’t have time to duck under the table before it opened.

“It’s not just about disliking him, it’s--” Caroline stopped cold as the door opened and she locked eyes on GLaDOS.

Chell had her face buried in her hands, as if afraid of the dirty looks GLaDOS was bound to give her. She wasn’t angry at Chell, though. In fact, she wasn’t angry at all. She was just shocked, taken aback, maybe even upset that Cave had not obeyed her wishes to not tell anyone else.

“What the hell is that,” was Caroline’s only reply.

GLaDOS pressed her lips together. “I think ‘who’ is the better pronoun in this scenario,” she said.

Caroline looked at GLaDOS and then back at Cave. “So, were you going to tell me, or…?”

“Nothing to tell. Go back to work,” he replied, pushing himself past her and followed by Chell.

“You know that’s not going to work on her, Mr. Johnson,” GLaDOS said plainly. Caroline promptly made her way in too, confirming GLaDOS’s statement as she shut the door behind her.

“You’re absolutely right it won’t,” she said. Caroline looked GLaDOS up and down, and GLaDOS could feel her eyes practically burning into her. “That’s amazing,” she finally said. She rushed over to GLaDOS. “I’m awestruck, sir, whose work is this?” She paused. “This is Aperture’s, right?”

“ _ She.  _ Not  _ this _ ,” GLaDOS corrected.

Caroline sat next to her. “Right, sorry. That was rude of me.”

GLaDOS wanted to continue to be bitter about the dehumanizing, but sternly reminded herself who she was talking to.

“It’s Aperture’s,” Cave confirmed.

GLaDOS stared back at Caroline, the two completely fixated on each other in a way that made the two of them both uncomfortable and intrigued. GLaDOS didn’t have to ask how Caroline felt right now. She knew. It was the little twitches of her face no one else would notice but the self-critical eye, her mouth being left slightly ajar, her wide eyes that were fixated on GLaDOS’s face. She knew what Caroline was thinking and feeling. She was amazed, but terrified; shocked, but enthused.

“You… are really something,” she said, mostly to herself as she reached out and felt GLaDOS’s skin with the back of her hand. GLaDOS was surprised with herself that she didn’t recoil at the touch. “The detail in her facial features is nearly human,” she said, pulling back her hand and turning towards Cave.

GLaDOS would have blushed in utter embarrassment if she could have. She just wanted to sink into the floor and end up in the present where she belonged, far away from this part of herself. “Don’t fool yourself. I’m not human,” she let slip out. “Not where it counts.”

Caroline furrowed her brows together. “And where does it count?”

“The organics, I suppose.”

Caroline smiled. “I like to believe humanity is a mindset. I know plenty of fully organic humans who I wouldn’t consider to have any humanity in them whatsoever. So I think you’re human where it counts. For what it’s worth. What’s your name? I’m--”

“Caroline. I know. Don’t bother with the niceties because I don’t want them,” she said, glancing over at Chell briefly, her face painted with dread. “My name is GLaDOS.”

“You already know my name?”

The group sat silently. GLaDOS had no idea what to say, and she was secretly hoping that for once Cave would fill in the gaps just to make things less awkward.

“Take a look at her dress,” Cave finally said. “You know I always said I wanted to use that logo but you claimed it would make us look like a camera company.”

Caroline chewed on the inside of her cheek. “It looks just fine now that I see it somewhere else besides paper,” she said, not breaking eye contact with GLaDOS. “Maybe you’re just a bad artist.”

“Maybe we get a better graphic designer in the future,” he said.

GLaDOS could see the cogs in Caroline’s brain click into place as she made her realization. The tension in the group was nearly tangible, and GLaDOS knew from experience that Cave was not one for awkward silences and his throat clearing and announcement of departure was inevitable at this point.

“Ahem… uh… I think you’ve got this one under control,” he said, almost in conjunction with GLaDOS’s thoughts. “Bye,” he added quickly, opening the door and slipping out before Caroline could argue.

GLaDOS put her head down and buried it in her arms, trying to block this moment out, desperate for anything except having to confront herself. This wasn’t just her past self -- it was the happier, more enthusiastic, passionate,  _ human  _ version of herself. Before all the bad things happened. The poor thing had no idea and it broke GLaDOS so much. She knew she couldn’t tell her. But what could she do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos so far, it's all so appreciated. I'll have the next chapter out next week. Also, the character mentioned named Leonard Donovan is actually a Portal OC of my friend's. You can check out her fic in progress that he's a part of on AO3. It's a good read so far.  
https://archiveofourown.org/works/14153427


	4. Perfect Replicas

“So, Aperture makes robots in the future,” Caroline said.

“Oh, you have no idea,” GLaDOS said sarcastically.

Chell looked sympathetically at GLaDOS before turning to Caroline and signing that it was often hard to catch GLaDOS in a good mood and to just give her some time.

“Well, isn’t there a way to reset that?” Caroline asked.

Chell shook her head as GLaDOS gave Caroline the dirtiest look Chell had ever seen on her.

“Oh,” Caroline said, holding her hands up defensively. “It doesn’t work like that, I’m guessing.”

“You guessed correctly. Good job.”

Chell rolled her eyes, amazed at how unkind GLaDOS was being to _ herself. _She quickly signed a message reminding her who she was talking to and demanding she act a little nicer, all while wearing a stern look on her face.

“Chell,” GLaDOS said in a sickly-sweet voice. “Can I talk to you in the corner, please?”

Chell nodded and stood up, following GLaDOS to the far corner of the room, every now and then glancing back apologetically at Caroline.

“It’s like looking in a carnival funhouse mirror,” GLaDOS whispered coldly, covering Chell with her body so Caroline couldn’t see any signed responses. “I don’t like this.”

“I wish you’d be nicer to yourself,” Chell signed. “We don’t have a lot of other options, unless you want to go find--”

GLaDOS grabbed her hands to stop her. “Don’t say Cave.”

“Your… best friend the companion cube…?” she corrected hopefully.

“Nice save.”

Chell gently cupped GLaDOS’s face in her hands and leaned in to kiss her quickly before taking them back and signing that maybe this was just what she needed. “I’m sorry if it’s out of bounds to say that,” she added. “I just care about you so much.”

GLaDOS’s face softened. “Well, I care about you too,” she said. “So I’ll be good.” She walked back to her seat. “But I’m going to complain about it the entire time,” she added, and Chell was convinced she said this loudly just to make sure Caroline heard.

Chell rolled her eyes, hoping she still got the message, before turning to Caroline and signing a message asking for her help getting back to their time.

“Oh dear…” Caroline began. “I’m not really any good at quantum mechanics, but I--”

“Don’t short-sell yourself. Yes you are,” GLaDOS replied.

“Oh. Wow, that’s kind of you, I guess. I suppose you really do know me.”

“Like you wouldn't believe,” GLaDOS mumbled.

“Exactly what year are you two from?” she asked, mostly directing her question towards Chell.

Chell shrugged, surprised by the question. She’d volunteered for testing in the early 2000s. It never occurred to her that time had just continued to pass, especially when GLaDOS had been dead.

“If I tell either of you that answer it will send you into shock. Just let me take care of everything,” GLaDOS said.

“You don’t tell your girlfriend what year you’re from?” Caroline asked.

“I have my reasons,” GLaDOS replied defensively. “Wait. Girlfriend?!”

“I saw you two kiss just a minute ago. It was cute.”

Chell beamed, but glancing over at GLaDOS showed she didn’t quite feel the same way about Caroline’s spying.

“It’s not cute. It’s just human. There’s nothing wrong with it,” GLaDOS said, and Chell wondered if the defensive reply came from some sort of deep-seated insecurity about her sexuality. She decided she’d talk to her about it as soon as she had some free time away from Caroline 1.0.

“See, then? Humanity. A mindset,” Caroline said.

“People will try to tell you differently,” GLaDOS said, quickly raising a hand to her mouth as if regretting the statement.

Chell glanced over at her and then back at Caroline worriedly.

“Do they try to tell you differently?” Caroline asked.

GLaDOS didn’t respond. She instead put her head down, burying her face into her arms, mumbling something about how Caroline asked too many questions.

Chell looked at Caroline. “At least that’s a good trait for a scientist,” Chell encouraged, signing her words with a hopeful expression.

“Well, I do try,” Caroline responded. “Of course, they really don’t appreciate me around here. Frankly I don’t think I’m taken seriously in the lab at all despite making majority of the contributions. At least Mr. Johnson respects me--”

GLaDOS cut Caroline off with a bitter laugh. “The only person you need to take you seriously is yourself. Don’t waste your time pleading for the approval of men. Especially not _ him. _”

“You don’t know him like I do,” she protested.

Chell looked over at Caroline with wide eyes, shaking her head violently before making a sign with her hands motioning for her to stop before things got out of hand.

“Yes I do,” GLaDOS snapped as she shot up. “As of now, I’ve known him longer than you--”

“Not like I do,” she bit back. Chell was starting to see more of GLaDOS’s personality shine through Caroline the angrier she got.

“Exactly like you do, Caroline!” GLaDOS cupped her own face with her palms, covering her eyes. “Ugh!” she yelled, muffled by her own hands.

Caroline turned to Chell and spoke more quietly. “Is there something I should know?”

“No,” GLaDOS whined. “Please don’t ask that. Please just leave us here until the facility closes and let us use the labs. I promise you I know what I’m doing. I promise I’m trusted with this facility just as much as you are. Even if you and Mr. Johnson don’t know it yet.”

“Why should I?” Caroline bit back. “You’re hiding something. Admit it.”

“What good will that do?”

“Aha! So you don’t deny it. You’re up to something too, aren’t you? Probably came from—”

“Don’t say Black Mesa,” GLaDOS interrupted.

“Huh, knew it before I even said it. Guilty much?”

GLaDOS scoffed. “I just knew that’s what you were going to say. We’re a little too similar, Caroline. Don’t forget that.”

Chell tapped on the table to get GLaDOS’s attention before signing her to ask her to tone it down.

“Yeah,” Caroline said smugly. “Tone it down.”

Chell gave her a death glare before telling her to do the same. She turned back to GLaDOS and asked if it would just be easier if she told the truth.

“The...truth?” Caroline asked. “I was right. You are hiding something.”

“It’s not hidden,” GLaDOS replied. “It’s in plain sight. You’re just not in the right mindset.”

Caroline stared at GLaDOS in a way that Chell could only interpret as her desperately looking for cues.

“Do you want to tell her or not?” Chell asked. “No one is making you, but—”

GLaDOS grabbed her hand. “She’s not going to shut up until I do. Trust me. If anyone knows that, it’s me.”

“Why do you think you know me so well?” Caroline asked irately, leaning forward to face GLaDOS down. “What, do we know each other in the future? You’re insufferable, so we can’t possibly be friends.”

Chell’s eyes widened, and she was surprised when she saw that GLaDOS remained unaffected.

“You’re projecting,” GLaDOS replied. “You don’t like that you see bits of your personality in mine. It makes you uncomfortable.”

“We are nothing alike.”

“You are,” Chell interrupted.

Caroline pursed her lips, obviously uninterested in arguing any longer. “How do we know each other?”

“I would say we obviously don’t know each other very well, considering the facts,” GLaDOS replied.

“Hm?”

“You don’t recognize me.”

Caroline stared at GLaDOS. “Do I know you from somewhere now?” she asked.

“Painfully. I’m you.”

Caroline continued staring, and Chell thought maybe she wouldn’t speak again, but she finally broke the silence. She laughed. “Yeah right,” she dismissed.

Chell rolled her eyes. Caroline really was as stubborn as GLaDOS. She hated to admit it was endearing, but she knew it wasn’t ideal for the current situation.

“Right indeed. I’m you. Caroline. Same individual. Same person. It shouldn’t be difficult for you to get that through your head. It didn’t take me long.”

“Well, if we’re really the same person, tell me something personal about me--”

“You’re a lesbian,” GLaDOS replied coolly before Caroline could even finish her sentence.

Caroline inhaled to reply, but GLaDOS cut her off.

“And you’re about to reply to that with “I most certainly am not!” which most certainly is not true. You maybe able to fool those idiotic straight men out there but you can’t fool me.”

“Ha,” Caroline laughed smugly. “Takes one to know one.”

“That’s the point!” GLaDOS said frustratedly. She shot Chell a dirty look when she caught her snickering at the drama.

“Well, _ my _point is that that doesn’t prove anything. It was a lucky guess.”

GLaDOS groaned and put her head down in her arms again. She raised back up after a few seconds. “Fine. You want something personal? Something that cuts deep? Because I’m about to hurt your feelings.”

Chell slapped her arm and shook her head, reminding GLaDOS of what she’d promised.

“If you’re me, then why do you want to hurt me?” she asked.

“Because you hate yourself.”

Chell gasped, unsure of why GLaDOS would ever think that was an okay thing to say. She looked rather pleased with herself too for the snarky comeback, but Chell saw her expression quickly change when tears welled up in Caroline’s eyes.

“Wait--” GLaDOS said. “No, sorry, I didn’t mean to--”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Caroline replied, wiping the tears out of her eyes. “I’m acting like such a child. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

GLaDOS shook her head. “No. I did do something wrong. I told you I hated you. You shouldn’t downplay your own feelings to make a situation less charged. That was my fault.”

“Technically, it was mine too,” she said quietly.

“So you believe me?” GLaDOS asked.

“I just don’t get why I’d do that to myself,” Caroline said. “No offense.”

Chell placed her hand gently on GLaDOS’s back. GLaDOS turned to face her and gave her a look that Chell was sure was her silently asking if it was okay to continue. Chell nodded.

“You don’t. Someone else does. And that is the last thing I'll say on the topic. You are still young and happy and excited and I can’t go and ruin that for you.”

“Who would do that…”

“You know I won’t say.”

Chell’s heart hurt listening to the conversation; it really did. She hated seeing GLaDOS look so broken-hearted, and hated it even more to see her past self looking equally as devastated. It was so interesting, though, comparing their faces in this exact moment -- nearly perfect replicas of each other. Not just in their faces, but the way they spoke. The smiles they shared, the way their brows would furrow when they were sad. The quivering lip Caroline would get when she cried and how she’d notice it in GLaDOS at the times when she was most angry and sad, realizing there were times she desperately needed to cry when she couldn’t -- constantly on the verge of tears that would never fall.

“Well…” Caroline began, looking as if she was debating whether or not to continue. “When does it happen? You can at least tell me that.”

“You’ll be 49. One month before your 50th birthday.”

“Oh my god,” Caroline replied. “That’s just 25 years from now.” She paused. “Good grief, I work here for the rest of my life?”

“And you won’t regret that,” GLaDOS said. “Just so you know. Just take my word for it.”

“I guess I should, considering you know for certain.”

“If a future you tries to warn you about this test, don’t listen,” GLaDOS joked.

Caroline tilted her head. “Huh?”

“Oh, right. That’s the 70s,” GLaDOS said, making Chell laugh. “Disregard that.”

“We implement time travel in the 70s…” she said, more as a wonder than a question.

“Long before that. Just trace elements. We never perfected it, and it’s evidently very--”

“Unstable,” she finished. “Yes. It appears so.” Caroline sighed. “I just don’t understand who would do that…” she trailed off, and Chell watched her chew on her lip as GLaDOS stared off into the distance, as if she was trying to remove herself from the situation.

Chell tapped her shoulder to grab her attention.

“I think I just need to be alone,” GLaDOS admitted. "Please. Just give me ten minutes. Away from me. To collect myself.”

Caroline and Chell both nodded, and Chell gave GLaDOS a quick kiss on the forehead before following Caroline out of the room, listening to her as she quietly said they could go get another glass of lemonade. The two made it out of the room and shut the door, immediately grateful to be out of the charged situation. They both exhaled heavily with relief at the exact same time, and would have laughed about it if they weren’t still in GLaDOS’s earshot. They rounded a corner into another hallway of offices until they made their way closer to the cafeteria. Unfortunately, it didn’t take long to run into Cave, and Chell wondered if he just walked about the entire facility all day or if he ever spent more than a few minutes in his office. The man seemed to be everywhere.

“Where are you headed?” Cave demanded. “I was just heading back there to give you these papers to work on,” he continued, handing her a file.

“Not now, sir, I’m just… taking a walk. Fresh air. That conference room is stuffy.”

“Well, in that case, I’ll just drop it off in there for you to do when you get back--”

Chell shook her head vehemently, and Caroline added on to that thought.

“I wouldn’t. Our… robot friend is, um… not in a great mood. She wants to be by herself for a minute.”

Cave nodded, taking back the papers. “Yeah, alright. Best I not go in there then.” He laughed. “She hates my guts for something future-Cave does, whatever that is. If I go in there she’ll probably rip my head off,” he said, pushing his way past the both of them and turning the corner at the end of the hall.

Caroline’s eyes widened as she made the connection, and Chell could almost see her complexion turn to pallor and her eyes glaze over.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” she said quietly, then turning to walk to the nearest unlocked room in an almost trance like state to take a seat on the floor against the wall. Chell sat down gently next to her and put her hand on her back.

“Tell me I misinterpreted,” she said blankly.

Chell pulled her hands away. She didn’t know what to say to her, what to do, and all that she could think of was to put her hand to her chest and sign that she was sorry, trying to convey how full of sympathy and love she was. Caroline didn’t respond well.

“No,” she snapped coldly. “He wouldn’t do that to me. He wouldn’t. You don’t know him like I do. He would never--” She cut herself off as her voice began to shake.

Chell could tell she was on the verge of tears but was trying hard not to let it show. Her face went from pale to red, her eyes puffy and shiny with tears ready to fall, teeth gritted. All Chell could do was scoot closer and wrap an arm around her. She watched Caroline quietly sob at the embrace, and she was relieved her gesture made her feel safe enough to do so.

“I just don’t understand why,” she said quietly. Chell thought about replying, but figured Caroline wanted otherwise when she grabbed Chell’s hand and moved closer to her, eliminating her form of communication. “He respects me. He does.” She pulled away. “You see it, right?”

Chell nodded. She wasn’t sure if GLaDOS would divulge this information herself, but she did know GLaDOS. Which meant she knew Caroline, to some degree, and knew what she’d want. That’s why she put her hands together and told Caroline what will happen -- the bankruptcy, Cave’s terminal illness, the way he begins to treat her coldly. The way he decides nobody else is fit to run Aperture except for him and her, which is why he needed her to do it forever, no matter how she felt.

Caroline looked down, and Chell tapped her lightly on the shoulder to get her attention again before telling her that things do end up okay.

“But does it hurt?”

Chell knew the answer was likely yes, although GLaDOS refused to talk about it much of the time. It was something she’d been meaning to press her on. “You need to ask her,” she signed, gesturing towards the other room.

“I don’t think I can stomach it,” she said, shaking her head.

Chell leaned in slowly and gave Caroline a light kiss on the cheek.

Caroline wiped a tear away and smiled. “I see why I like you in the future. You’re a sweet girl.”

Chell laughed. “You won’t think that way about me at first. But I am glad we meet.”

“I want to ask questions, but I think it’s better to leave myself a few surprises. Don’t you agree?”

Chell nodded. She was happy to hear the change of voice in Caroline, from devastated to comforted. It was sweet that underneath the layers, GLaDOS had always been a sucker for a love story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's been reading so far. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that you'll enjoy the chapters to come as well.


	5. Any Future Tragedies

Once Caroline had recovered from her outburst, Chell encouraged her to continue to take a walk and grab something to drink before returning to GLaDOS. They made their way back towards the cafeteria, filled with a few scientists on their lunch break. Chell noticed that Caroline was eyeing one of the men suspiciously.

“I’ve literally never seen him before,” she muttered, not breaking her gaze.

Chell tapped on her shoulder before replying. “Which one?”

“Guy with the beard,” she said, turning her focus back towards him. The both of them jumped when his gaze caught theirs. The man almost looked excited, as if he knew the two. Caroline sighed in what seemed like frustration as the man booked his way over to them.

“You’re here too?” he said under his breath, grabbing Chell and turning her away from Caroline and in his direction instead.

Chell just stared at him, wide eyed, unsure of what to think. The man was scruffy, pale, with black hair and eyes that made him appear slightly unnerved. He didn’t look at all familiar. She had no idea where she could have known him from.

“I thought it was just me who ended up back here. Somehow the device got tampered with. I figured it may have been you, since you decided not to leave the facility...” he said disappointedly. “It’s not like  _ she’d  _ mess with it. Whatever, I’m sure it was an accident. I’m just glad we found each other.”

Chell knitted her eyebrows together, looking at him and then at Caroline.

“Chell. It’s me--”

“Are you insane?” Chell said with a frustrated look.

“What is she saying?” the man asked in response to the sign language, turning reluctantly to Caroline.

“She doesn’t know you,” Caroline replied plainly.

“I’ve been trying to find a way to get to you, but she was always in the way. I get it if you two are friends now, although I can’t say it’s what I hoped. I went to so much effort to make sure you were far away from her. That you and I both were. I guess it didn’t work out well for either of us.”

Caroline, noticing Chell’s look of utter confusion, chimed in again. “Chell is capable of making her own decisions of who she does and doesn’t befriend.”

“No offense, but this whole ordeal doesn’t even involve you right now--”

“Actually,” she interrupted, “it does. Since you’re parading around my facility in someone else’s lab coat, posed as if you’re an employee.”

“Come on, Chell, let’s go. I think I found the original device. I’ve been working on restoring it. I completely blended in in the labs. Nobody suspected a thing.”

Caroline put a hand out to stop him before turning to Chell. “Would GLaDOS know this man?” she said quietly.

Chell shrugged and nodded.

“She’s here?!”

Chell gave him a wide eyed look of indignance before nodding. She couldn’t believe it. Where else would she be? And what gave this guy the right to barge in like they were best friends when she didn’t even know his name, coming around and criticizing her decision to come back to GLaDOS? That was her business, she thought. If this man couldn’t even stop to take the time to let her know who he was, he wasn’t worth her time at all. Chell pointedly ignored him in search of something for her and Caroline to drink, leaving him and Caroline following in pursuit.

* * *

GLaDOS lifted her head as she heard keys clicking and the door to the room she was inhabiting opening up. She was surprisingly relieved to know they were back already. During her time to reflect by herself, she realized she really regretted the way she spoke to Caroline and wanted to make it up to her. She wanted an apology to be the first thing that came out of her mouth, but she was cut short in surprise when she saw it wasn’t just Chell and Caroline that came in.

“Doug?!” she asked with contempt.

“Oh. Nice to see you again, too.”

“You’re still alive?”

“You sound disappointed.”

“I mean, a little bit,” GLaDOS admitted as Caroline shut the door behind them. “I’m honestly more concerned on how exactly you’re here at all.”

“Well, after I was shot--”

“You got shot?” GLaDOS asked.

“By one of your turrets. Thanks for that. Anyway, after I was shot--”

“You already said that. I don’t care. Skip to the point.”

“For fuck’s sake. I was in stasis where I was healed by nanobots--”

“Boring,” GLaDOS said, faking a yawn. "Have you been practicing this speech?"

“I’ve been living in the facility ever since you woke up all those test subjects after Chell’s departure. Before she came back. You know, the ones you killed in less than a week--”

“You’re making me look bad,” she interrupted.

“I don’t have to try,” he replied smugly.

“So you have been living with us,” Chell signed in confirmation, her message more pointed towards GLaDOS and Caroline than it was at him, likely in hopes of a translation.

“She’s creeped out, Doug. Nice going.”

“I’m the creepy one?”

Chell sighed before taking the bottle of water she’d gotten at the cafeteria up to her lips.

“Well, you vandalized my test chamber with paintings of her face, so I’d say yes.”

Chell nearly choked on her water, holding a hand up in protest before pointing at him as if to say, “That was  _ him?” _

“He’s a big fan of your murderous work, Chell. You should be flattered,” GLaDOS said with a sarcastic grin.

"Uh, murder?" Caroline asked, but was ignored.

“I’m sorry,” Doug admitted to Chell. “It’s...complicated, and I don’t want to go into it right now--”

Chell waved his comment away and nodded that she understood. GLaDOS was surprised at the calm reaction, but she always knew Chell to be fairly easygoing. After all, Chell didn’t just forgive her attempted murderer -- she fell in love with her. A few portraits that made her feel uneasy were likely not haunting her long term.

“So you’ve been living with us,” GLaDOS said, continuing Chell’s thought. “And just… haven’t bothered to say anything? What have you been eating? And--” she lowered her voice “-- meds? Because you seem pretty… level headed.”

“Okay, to answer point one: I figured you’d kill me, and besides, I’m plenty satisfied living on my own and making sure Chell is safe from afar.”

GLaDOS frowned.

“Two: I know where I can find food, and I don’t mind taking it. And three: it’s not really your business, but now that I know how to get around the facility completely under your radar, I found the company’s pharmacy. Thanks for announcing in front of everyone that I take medication,” he added bitterly.

“Oh, Doug, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Plenty of humans need medication for things that aren’t schizophrenia.” She put her hand to her mouth. “Oops. Sorry. I meant high blood pressure.”

He turned to give Chell a look of distaste.

Chell signed a quick message to GLaDOS indicating that maybe she should lay off a bit.

“You don’t know him like I do,” she replied. “And unfortunately, I know him quite well. Thanks for not helping me out when your coworkers were hurting me, by the way,” she said sarcastically. Her eyes widened momentarily when she realized she said this in front of Caroline, but she decided to continue on quickly in hopes that she didn’t pay it mind. “And thanks for putting Chell through testing just so she’d kill me. And thanks for vandalizing my facility. And thanks for--”

“Okay, first of all, fuck you for making me look like the selfish one here.”

GLaDOS leaned back and folded her arms.

"Can you two please just--" Caroline began, quickly ignored yet again.

“I didn’t just put her through that so I could escape.”

“I didn’t say you did. But I guess if the bullet wound fits.”

“She’d be stuck in stasis. I knew she’d be helping me  _ and  _ herself. I wasn’t just thinking about myself.”

GLaDOS lifted her hands in defense. “Sure. Fine. If you say so.”

“And you know what? You had a million and one opportunities to please us with good behavior and you opted to try to kill us all instead--”

“Watch it,” she said harshly, her eyes quickly darting over to Caroline.

“And you complain about bad treatment. Wait until I tell you how it felt to see my coworkers choking on neurotoxin right in front of me while you sat there like it was funny.”

“Doug--”

“Excuse me,” Caroline butted in, too quiet for her voice to be heard.

“I had a bad feeling about you ever since I started working at Aperture. Knowing what you came from doesn’t make me feel bad for you at all,” Doug said, pointing to Caroline while maintaining eye contact with GLaDOS.

“Can we please just--” Caroline interrupted.

GLaDOS piped up, ignoring Caroline in favor of replying to Doug. “You are so full of it, Doug, and you call me the bad one--”

“Just be quiet!” Caroline shouted. “Everybody just...be quiet. Now.”

Doug, Chell, and GLaDOS snapped their attention to Caroline.

“I don’t want to hear another word. I literally don’t want to see the rest of the iceberg of what this argument is.” She exhaled. “Now, I’ve got some things to say and I’m tired of feeling like I need to shout over all of your bickering. I could have been doing work today. I had things I needed to get done. But all I achieved today was learning some very harrowing information. All I’ve done is heard things I didn’t want to hear. And you--” she said, turning to GLaDOS. “You should have been the one to tell me.”

GLaDOS turned to Chell. “You told her?”

“She didn’t tell me anything. I’m just smart enough to figure these things out on my own. But you should have been the one to tell me. It would have been easier to hear it from myself, instead of from Mr. Johnson joking about how he hurts you in the future. He does that to me! How the hell could he do that to me?!” she said, practically shaking. “And instead of thinking about how I feel, you’re just arguing with some random idiot with a neckbeard!”

“Hey. Geez. Harsh,” Doug replied.

“You know how I feel?” Caroline asked, her lip quivering. “I’m pissed. I break my back for this place and what’s my reward? I get turned into a robot. And I don’t even want to know what he’s talking about when he mentioned killing. I don’t want to know what I did. I literally can’t take any more information and you two just flippantly throw it out there like I’m not standing next to you.”

GLaDOS could hear a slight shake in her voice as she spoke, and she knew this would be headed in a teary direction if she didn’t speak up now.

“You’re getting carried away and it won’t make you feel better,” GLaDOS said calmly. She stood up and walked over to her counterpart.

“Don’t patronize me,” she spat back. “I just want to go back to my apartment and pretend I never heard any of this but I can’t because you’re sitting in front of me and--”

Caroline was cut off by GLaDOS pulling her in for a hug.

Caroline pulled away. “I really don’t want you to--”

“Don’t lie to me. It’s impossible. Just shut up and show yourself some kindness for once,” GLaDOS said, pulling her back in. GLaDOS had to admit it felt awkward, hugging herself like this, especially in front of everyone. But she knew if there was any advice 25 year old Caroline needed to hear, it was that it was okay to be kind to herself. Maybe even GLaDOS needed to hear that still.

“I’m just angry,” Caroline said as GLaDOS pulled away. “I don’t think I’m angry at any of you in particular. But I’m angry.”

“You’re allowed to be,” GLaDOS replied.

Caroline looked at her in a way that GLaDOS could only read as relief.

“I guess I am allowed to be,” she concluded.

“So I think,” GLaDOS began, turning towards the rest of the group, “it would be in everyone’s best interest if we can handle the subject of any future tragedies in a very respectful manner.” She paused. “Even for those of you who don’t like me,” she added, turning towards Doug. “I would… really appreciate it.”

Doug sighed. “Deal.”

GLaDOS watched as Chell flashed both her and Caroline a warm and loving smile.

“Let’s just put our differences behind us. For a little while,” GLaDOS said. “The most important thing is getting back to our time. The disagreements will still be here when this is over.”

“Doug mentioned he found the time travel device,” Caroline said, changing the subject.

Doug smiled. “Yeah. I put on a lab coat and walked into the physics wing and nobody questioned me.”

“Sounds like Aperture,” GLaDOS concurred.

“I found the device, and I’ve been working on fixing it. So that’s been my morning.”

“Nobody questioned you?” Caroline asked skeptically.

“They’re all pretty impressed with my knowledge, actually,” Doug boasted, ignoring GLaDOS’s snort. “I guess my physics and engineering knowledge is just a few decades ahead of the game. It’s great for water cooler talk.”

“Oh, shut up,” GLaDOS replied. “You are so full of yourself.”

“I actually think I’m pretty humble.”

“Humble people don’t call themselves humble,” GLaDOS and Caroline said at the same time. They both looked at each other and grinned, and Chell laughed at the unison comment.

“Okay, fine. Maybe not humble, but I don’t think I’m full of myself either.”

“I still can’t believe you just stole a lab coat and pretended to be an employee,” GLaDOS said with a smile.

“I always get things done one way or another,” he replied.

"Believe me, I know." She rolled her eyes.

“So, we’ve still got time to kill,” Caroline said. “Before the facility closes and you,” she said, turning to GLaDOS, “can actually accompany the rest of us in the labs.” She sighed. “I’d hate for you to be sitting here all by yourself while the rest of us—”

Chell’s stomach growled loudly, alerting everyone in the room to her.

Caroline smiled. “Okay. So there’s one way we can kill time. It sounds like someone needs lunch.” She shrugged. “And I do too. So maybe you and I should go grab something.”

“Take her to that one diner,” GLaDOS interrupted.

“Is this a date?” Chell asked sarcastically, with a smug grin.

“If you want it to be,” GLaDOS said.

Chell looked taken aback, but shrugged and turned to Caroline.

“What?” Caroline asked, dumbfounded. “Hold on, I think I missed what you just said.”

Chell just smiled, waiting for Caroline to initiate leaving the room. When she did, Chell followed, and Doug and GLaDOS were left to deafening, awkward silence as they stared each other down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome Rat Boy.


	6. I'm Not Leaving You

“So,” GLaDOS began.

“So,” Doug repeated, clicking his tongue awkwardly.

“Any more reckless plans to kill me? Or are we through with that?”

Doug rubbed his temples. “Of course. Of course that’s what you open with.”

“What? She’s not in the room anymore. How about we just get this out of our systems now?”

“Okay. I'll bite. Why me?” he asked.

“Oh, enough with the self pitying, Doug. I’m already well aware of all your issues.”

“No,” he snapped. “I mean why did you let me survive?”

GLaDOS stared ahead at him in shock. “I didn’t. You escaped. I had nothing to do with that.”

“You warned me, though. That it would happen. And you did it as soon as I was by the exit. Don’t act like I didn’t notice that.”

“As if I care about you _ that _much. I wanted all of you dead.”

“That’s a lie and you know it.”

GLaDOS crossed her arms. “Okay, so what? I cared about you. You used to be my friend, after all. But most importantly, I wanted revenge.”

“I think those things might be mutually exclusive.”

“Let me put it more simply: I deserved revenge.”

“For what?!” he shrieked. “Not helping you kill my colleagues?”

“For ratting me out,” she spat.

He laughed. “Oh my god. Not this again.”

“I just wanted help. You could have just let it go if you couldn’t help me.”

“You weren’t going to let it go, GLaDOS. They needed to know you asked me for that. To help you kill them. It was an obvious...glitch," he said, seemingly unsure of that last part. "It needed to be repaired. I wasn't being vindictive. I was doing my job."

“I didn’t need cores,” she said desperately.

Doug looked taken aback at her sad tone of voice. “I see that now,” he admitted reluctantly.

“Do you?”

“You needed to be treated human. Whatever. I get it. I see the way you act now that they’re gone, the cores are dead, and you’re with Chell. You’re still cold as ever, but hey, I haven’t smelled one bit of neurotoxin.”

GLaDOS nodded quietly. “I never wanted to stop being friends. But I let you survive because I wanted you to know how it felt.”

“How what felt?”

“Betrayal. Feeling trapped.” She paused. “Hearing voices.”

“You know damn well I know what that’s like,” he bit back.

“You sure didn’t act like it,” she said plainly. “So you left me with the cores. You left me sedated. Lonely. Hearing voices. I was going insane. I let you have a taste of your own medicine.” She smirked. “Or rather, I didn’t.” Her eyes widened when she saw Doug looking angrier. She continued on quickly, not wanting to make things any worse. “I went too far. I know. And… I am sorry, okay? I could make a million excuses right here and now but I won’t. Pretending to not see nuance has gotten me nowhere. So I’m doing my part: I’m sorry.”

“I honestly don’t know what to say to any of this.”

“Something good, I hope,” GLaDOS mumbled.

“No, actually. I don’t think it’s something good. I’m thinking I don’t forgive you.”

GLaDOS felt crushed. It wasn’t just that she wanted forgiveness -- she felt that Doug owed her an apology too, and she knew now that she was likely never going to get it. This wasn’t what she wanted. She made herself vulnerable to him once again, and he let her down once again, leaving her embarrassed and stripped of her defenses. Her embarrassment showed when her fans kicked in, trying to cool down how overheated she felt from the vulnerability. She only hoped he couldn’t hear it.

“What is that?” he asked with disdain.

“I’m a computer. You’re an engineer. I’m sure between the two of us, there would be no need for that kind of question. And yet here we are. They’re my cooling fans.”

He rolled his eyes. “So I don’t forgive you and you’re immediately back to the aloof act. And I say _ act _because I know that underneath this, you’re really just miserable and don’t want anyone to know. I mean, come on, you’re Caroline, and she’s miserable now. I’m sure things don’t get better from here--”

GLaDOS opened her mouth to interrupt him, fans whirring louder, but he kept going.

“And that really sucks, okay? I’ll admit that. I don’t lack empathy. I do know how you’ve suffered. But you say lack of nuance is getting you nowhere? No. It’s the fact that you don’t let people in. You’d rather torture a friend with his own schizophrenia than sit down and talk about your feelings. And then you turn around and complain. And as soon as things get awkward and you’re facing me down again, you buckle and apologize. It’s fake. It’s an act.”

GLaDOS’s embarrassment and anger became so overwhelming that her system couldn’t keep up, and her fans short circuited, a quick flash of light and a loud crack and puff of smoke alerting Doug to the problem. GLaDOS doubled over and winced.

“And now you’re broken,” Doug said, deflated. He rushed over to her, placing a hand on her forehead as if he was checking a human for a fever. GLaDOS didn’t budge, immediately being brought back to the scientists, rendering her in shock. He flinched and pulled his hand away. “You’re hot.”

“Thanks,” GLaDOS forced out. “But I don’t swing that way.”

He sighed in frustration. “No. I mean your system is going to overheat and completely shut down if you don’t get repaired. I’m… sorry, but I think I might have to turn you off for a bit.”

“I don’t trust that for a second,” GLaDOS said, her voice lowered an octave.

“You don’t have a choice. Does this happen often?”

GLaDOS hated to admit it, but it did. She figured her technology was old, but she was too stubborn to admit that and replace it. “Yes.”

“You’re old,” Doug said, concurring with GLaDOS’s thoughts.

“Wow. Thanks,” she said wryly.

“I mean, we might have to replace some parts in order to fix this.”

“Is Chell back yet?”

“I think we would have heard from them if they were.”

GLaDOS paused before reluctantly speaking up again. “Then get Mr. Johnson. And then go get the materials you need. Whatever you can find. I don’t need to tell you how to do this. But you’re not turning me off until Chell gets back.”

Doug exhaled. “Okay. If you insist.”

* * *

Chell inhaled and took in the fresh, cold air as she and Caroline sat on a bench outside Aperture. Instead of going out, the two decided to grab something from Caroline’s apartment and then sit outside, wrapped in coats from Caroline’s closet as they braced the Michigan weather.

“I still can’t believe it all,” Caroline said, and Chell would have thought she was upset if there wasn’t a smile on her face. “Aperture creates AI.”

Chell snorted. “That’s what you’re focusing on?”

“Well, I’m excited to get a pretty girlfriend too, if that’s what you mean.”

Chell reached out to discreetly hold her hand. She meant the part about becoming a robot, but she was happy to not correct Caroline if that meant she’d stay on the positive side.

“Does it get better?” Caroline asked. “For people like us, I mean.”

Assuming Caroline meant being gay, she smiled and nodded in reply. She didn’t know much about the way gay people were treated in Caroline’s time, but it had to have been worse than what it was in hers.

“That’s really nice to hear. You know, I lost my family because of it,” she admitted.

Chell looked up at her with sympathy.

“I mean, it’s not like my family was that great to begin with. My dad used to hit me, and my mother was just… emotionally absent. She was there, but I felt abandoned anyway.”

Chell was surprised she said this, but it shed a lot of light on the way GLaDOS used to berate Chell for being adopted, telling her she was abandoned and unloved. Even subconsciously, GLaDOS was projecting her insecurities.

“Mr. Johnson was there for me after they kicked me out. He’s the only one that knows why they did it. He’s always been so supportive.” Her smile turned to a frown. “But I suppose it’s superficial. At least now I know how things turn out.” She took a bite of her food. “It hurts. I don’t want it. But hearing my future self say she doesn’t regret working here despite what happens lets me know I just need to work through that pain. There’s something good at the end of it,” she said, smiling again. “That doesn’t mean I won’t go down without a fight though.”

Chell smiled in agreement. She knew GLaDOS would always be scarred by what happened, but she also knew that things work out in the end, and she was glad that Caroline held that mindset.

“Are you ready to head back in?” Caroline proposed.

Chell nodded and pushed herself up, Caroline following.

“Thanks for listening to me,” Caroline muttered, immediately turning and walking back towards the facility to avoid sharing eye contact after the confession.

Chell thought it was cute, and caught up to her. “You can say it to my face, you know,” she said. With a smirk, she folded her arms after finishing signing her sentence.

“Say what?”

“I’m glad I got to listen,” Chell replied, ignoring her question in favor of replying to what she initially said. “I know it’s hard to be trusting but keeping secrets weighs down on you a lot. Someday soon you’ll find the person you can tell everything. Let yourself.”

“That’s cheesy,” Caroline said, nudging Chell playfully. “Don’t give me all that. I stick to myself a lot anyway.”

“I’m just saying because I care.”

“About me? You don’t know me, though. You just know me in the future. And people change quite a bit. Especially after being put through Aperture's wringer as many times as I have to in the next few decades.”

“Let me put it this way,” Chell replied. “I don’t know you, Caroline from 1957, so of course, I can’t say I’m in love with you like I am with you in the future. But you’re you, and I care about all of you.” 

Chell opened her mouth to speak, not worrying about having to explain that her mutism was selective, depending on her comfort levels, her anxiety, her sensory exhaustion. She knew what she had to say was important, but she couldn’t find the language to sign it.

“If I was sent back to you after the upload, I’d still keep you company when the scientists were neglectful. And if I was sent back to you as a child, I’d comfort you, and remind you that someday you’d be safe. And if I met you as a teenager, I’d guide you through all that confusion. And if I met you in the year of 1957, I’d tell you that things get better. And if I met you in the future, I’d cause all the chaos in the world. And then I’d fall in love with you.”

Caroline looked simultaneously overwhelmed and relieved, like she wasn’t used to the reassurance and care. Often GLaDOS would say exactly what Chell needed to hear when she was sad, or angry, or apathetic, and the idea that she could make Caroline feel understood too was monumental.

“We’re made of our past,” Chell said. “How can I not love the whole picture?”

* * *

When the two arrived back to the room in which they previously resided, they were shocked at the display inside. They both quickly discarded of their coats, gloves and scarves and closed the door.

“Hello again,” GLaDOS managed, and Chell knew instantly that something was wrong. If it wasn’t Cave sitting awkwardly next to her, looking as if he was unsure of what to do, it was the pained look on GLaDOS’s face. “Tell her,” she said to Chell.

“What?” Chell asked.

GLaDOS nodded towards Caroline and then quickly cocked her head towards Cave’s direction, curtly mouthing “no.”

Chell figured she meant to tell Caroline to not confront Cave about the information she gathered earlier, so she relayed that to Caroline.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” Caroline replied, although Chell could tell she was barely holding back from punching the man.

“What’s going on?” Cave asked, turning towards them.

“Nothing,” GLaDOS said.

“Mind your own business, Mr. Johnson,” Caroline added.

His eyes widened in surprise. “Oh. Okay.”

Chell ran over to GLaDOS and tried to put an arm around her, but was burned. “_ Ouch, _” she quietly muttered. GLaDOS looked towards her with sympathy.

“I’m overheating.” GLaDOS looked shocked, as if suddenly making a realization. “It’s the mainframe. I’m not attached to it anymore.”

Chell remembered the last time they spent in old Aperture, when GLaDOS was disconnected from the mainframe. Her battery level dwindled quickly when not attached, and there was only so much she could survive on, and only so much she could handle. She recalled her saying emotional outbursts required more voltage than she had. Her emotional day must have taken the biggest toll imaginable on her.

“It’s the battery,” Chell said audibly. “You’re running on your backup. It’s not enough energy.”

“You can leave now, Mr. Johnson,” GLaDOS said.

“Huh?” he asked.

“As in, I don’t need you anymore now that Chell is here, so you can go. And get Doug.”

Cave sighed in frustration before pushing himself up from his seat next to GLaDOS and heading towards the door, muttering something about how he can’t seem to catch a break from being nagged, but Chell could tell GLaDOS and Caroline both couldn’t care less.

Chell watched Caroline stand wide-eyed near the door, barely moving over for Cave as he left, too afraid to step forward, as if she feared breaking her future self.

"I don't know what I'd do if you broke down here," Chell said. She ran over to sit next to GLaDOS.

“Aww, how sweet,” GLaDOS said sharply under her breath, making it obvious to Chell that she was in no mood for sentimentalities.

“Don’t be rude,” Chell mumbled, standing back up.

“No wait. Please don’t go,” GLaDOS said, changing her tone of voice.

“I’m just grabbing my things,” she said as she picked up her coat and gloves. She hated to hear how scared GLaDOS was. “I swear, I’m not leaving you,” she replied, back to signing.

“I need you here.”

Chell furrowed her brows together in concern before nodding and sitting back down next to her, the heat coming off of GLaDOS so hot it was practically burning Chell just being in close proximity. “I’m not going anywhere,” Chell mumbled again, putting on her gloves so she could put her hand gently on GLaDOS’s back without being burned. “I’m here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are four more chapters left after this one. I may bump up the frequency of posting chapters since I'm not taking time to write the next one anymore since I've technically finished it. I'll see if I have time to set up a new schedule. I really hope you've enjoyed so far and I really appreciate all the comments. I hope that the ending will be satisfying to everyone who kindly took the time out of their day to read this little story of mine.


	7. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

GLaDOS felt sick the longer she sat there, and hated that she felt relieved when Doug came running into the room.

“I got parts,” he said, throwing a bag of things onto the table. "But it’s like I said. I’ll need to turn you off.”

Chell’s eyes widened, but GLaDOS paid it no mind. “I mean, you’ll be turning me back on afterwards, right?”

He exhaled hard and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yes. GLaDOS. I will not shut you off permanently. Don’t you have better things to do than act like I’m out to get you?”

“I think I once asked you the exact same thing,” she said with a smug grin. Another circuit sparked, turning her expression to a grimace.

“Okay, enough, you two,” Caroline ordered. “You had plenty of time to talk things out. We obviously have more important matters at hand.”

“Well, I was more than happy to talk things out,” GLaDOS said. “But he came over here and broke me--”

“That is not true and you know it,” Doug said. “You broke on your own. I didn’t even touch you.”

“Do not make me speak over you two again,” Caroline said bluntly, her voice lowered an octave. “The immaturity level here is absolutely unreal.”

“Yeah, Doug. Immature,” GLaDOS sneered.

Caroline shot her a death glare. “Oh, so you think this isn’t about you, too?” Caroline asked. “If I wanted to hang out with people who acted like catty children, I would have been a teacher. Now shut up, cooperate, and do what needs to be done before future-me has some sort of system meltdown.”

Doug sighed and reluctantly nodded.

“Thanks for doing this,” GLaDOS quietly said to Doug. “I didn’t think you cared enough to help.”

“I do,” he said. “I’m still your engineer. Whether I like it or not.”

GLaDOS couldn’t exactly remember the next few turns of events, but she knew Doug had already shut her off. What she didn’t know was how she was aware of that. And furthermore -- where was she?

She couldn’t see her body, and she couldn’t see her surroundings, either. It was completely dark, and yet she was simultaneously conscious. She was desperately trying to make sense of her surroundings, or lack thereof, when she heard a voice.

_ “Caroline, clean that up, won’t you? Before your father gets home.” _

The voice was muffled, as if hearing it from underwater, but she immediately recognized it. Caroline’s mother. She must have been dreaming, although it’d never happened to her before, not in this body.

_ “And don’t forget we’re going out for dinner, so wear something nicer than whatever that is you’ve got on. That skirt is horribly short.” _

GLaDOS immediately recognized the conversation as something from her teenage years, and the heartache of it all made her begin to sink further away, the voices only becoming more indistinct. She didn’t want this. She wanted to hear it, to reminisce, so she began to push herself closer to the conversation.

_ “It seems like skirts are getting longer and longer these days,”  _ Caroline said disingenuously _ . “And I’m getting taller and taller. It's so hard to keep up. I can’t help it if I look like a whore.” _

_ “Don’t you get smart with me, young lady, I’ll--” _

Suddenly, the voices were whisked away, and a flickering display like one would see at the cinema was up, all around her, with familiar figures to match familiar voices and a distinct clicking like that of a projector quietly ticking away in the background. She heard the sloshing of water, and looked down: somehow, the room had filled with ice cold water. She couldn’t see what laid beyond her kicking legs, given the only light source in the void being the projector, but it looked abysmal and deep. It terrified her. The water was still like a pool, not a lake, and yet she still struggled to stay afloat. Despite being an android, she felt completely out of breath as she kicked and clawed to stay at the surface.

_ “He’s not giving you too much of a hard time, is he?”  _ a voice asked.

The voice belonged to an old coworker of hers, but that wasn’t the display on the projector. What was first a film of the facility bustling about, was now a turret, being torn apart and rebuilt, on loop. GLaDOS watched intently, the loop growing faster and faster, torn apart, rebuilt, torn apart, rebuilt, torn apart, human flesh.

She jumped back, trying to cover her eyes from the gorey robot, but when she looked back up, it was a normal turret again, this time monitoring over a test chamber.

GLaDOS couldn’t articulate how she felt, but she knew it was heavy. She felt so heavy. Like an anvil had slammed down on her as she began to sink further and further and further…

Drowning. GLaDOS was drowning. She fought at the water, but just kept sinking, and without a thing to grab onto for help.

_ “Well, she’s a smart girl,”  _ Caroline’s mother said, more and more muffled by the sound of water against GLaDOS’s ears _ . “But not smart enough. I know I’m never getting grandkids. The girl can’t even keep one boyfriend. It’s embarrassing. She’s getting to the age where these sorts of things matter. If not for her sake, then at least for appearances.” _

GLaDOS felt like she was choking, and looking out in front of her she saw human hands, although they were decaying down to the bone. She reached out to feel it, but to no avail -- the hands had suddenly disappeared, and she was still sinking.

_ “She’s twenty,"  _ an unidentifiable voice said. " _ That’s still young. She’s still got time.” _

_ “She would make a terrible wife,”  _ her mother grumbled. _ “She’s pretty, but she’s always made decisions like an ugly girl.” _

GLaDOS wanted to sink into the water and disappear entirely. Why was she not good enough for her mother? She just wanted to be a good daughter. She just wanted her to love her. But nothing Caroline did was ever good enough. She’d never be good enough.

“That’s right,” a voice said. This one wasn’t muffled, nor did it have the effect that the others did, of being all around her. This one felt like it was right on top of her.

GLaDOS’s eyes widened as she swam backwards.

“Don’t you regret it?”

The voice was achingly familiar, and when GLaDOS looked, it was taking the form of Caroline’s mother. But it was  _ not  _ her mother. It was her morality core.

“Which part?” GLaDOS tried to ask, but she couldn’t speak as she sank further and further into the depths.

Her core reached down and held her still. “You could have married a man anyways. You could have kept it a secret. You could have had children. You didn’t have to work at Aperture. You made this choice. And now you cry and complain.”

Her core holding her down felt just like her mother’s embrace, and she wanted to stay in her arms forever, but she knew better than that. She pushed her and swam towards the surface.

“Don’t tell me you regret it,” the voice spat from behind her. It grabbed her leg and pulled her down, forcing her to face it. “You knew you were the only thing left for this company.” The core pulled her closer. It was still her mother, still the voice of her morality core, and yet somehow, she knew this was Cave.

“I--” GLaDOS began, but she felt like she was choking on water.

“I was dying, Caroline. You couldn’t have just abandoned me. You wish you could have left me, don’t you?”

GLaDOS felt like her head was going to explode from the water pressure, and she kicked the morality core in the face before making a beeline for whatever direction she felt was the surface.

“You weren’t a good daughter, you weren’t a good employee, and now… who’s surprised? You were never a good experiment either.”

Her morality core had now taken on the form of Henry, which GLaDOS felt was only fitting, seeing as it was his design in the first place.

“You murdered us. For what? You set yourself up for failure. You’ve never been good at anything. You were made to be used. That’s the life you set yourself up for. How on earth did you not see this coming?”

Her morality core tried to drag her down again, muttering incoherent criticisms as it always did. It no longer looked like her mother. In fact, the thing was completely faceless. GLaDOS punched it and broke free, hoping the surface was somewhere close. She knew she couldn’t actually drown, but she felt like she was choking, like the water pressure was killing her quickly, and she had to get out soon. She had to take a breath. She had to breathe. She was choking. She was dying. She had to get to the surface. She had to--

Her head bumped against something hard. Wasn’t this the surface? Wasn’t she free? She looked up, but the room was still void and dark. She banged against the hard surface, which made a hollow thud. Something was preventing her from leaving. She looked back down from where she came, expecting it to be as dark as what lay above, but it wasn’t. The bottom of the water was filled with people she used to know, staring back up at her as if waiting for something. Their eyes were blank like that of a decaying fish as they fixed their sights on her.

And like decaying fish, they all slowly rose to the surface, rotten flesh breaking off of them and floating about. One by one, they hit the barrier between the water and the air. This time, the barrier broke apart like ice on a pond, lighting up like neon and illuminating the dead bodies. Even though the wall between her and the surface was broken, she still couldn’t get a breath of air in as she broke free from the water. It was like she was somehow still drowning. Something was preventing her from escaping. She just wanted to leave.

The projector clicked on again.

_ “Greetings astronauts, war heroes, and Olympians. You’re here because we want the best, and you are it. So, who’s ready to make some science?” _

When GLaDOS looked up, it wasn’t Cave on the screen, like she expected. It was a mirror.  Her, in her wet, messy white hair, illuminated by the glowing broken barrier floating about. Her, in her glowing eyes. Her, surrounded by the decomposing bodies of everyone she ever knew. Her, with a look of absolute terror on her face.

_ “I’m Cave Johnson,”  _ she said, her voice coming from all around her instead of her own mouth. _ “I own the place.” _

GLaDOS frantically looked around for an exit, swimming in circles, gasping for air and coughing up water. She locked eyes with Doug, floating towards her on a life preserver labeled  _ Borealis _ .

"Henry says you're doing better than yesterday, but I just had to see for myself," he said, reaching out to grab her hand. Somehow the water made no sound as GLaDOS flailed to keep her head above water and reach out to him. Suddenly, he yanked his hand away.  "I'm sorry. It's just part of my job."

Like a light switch had been flipped, she was back in the conference room with Doug, Chell, and Caroline staring her down.

GLaDOS stared back at all of them before finally laying eyes on Caroline. The the room seemed unbearably tense. “So, I’m assuming something weird happened while I was out, given that you’re all giving me that look.”

Doug shook his head. “Uh, I mean, you were flailing about a bit when I reactivated you. Other than that, nothing too weird. Not too complicated of a procedure. Also your fans had so much gunk on them. It was actually kind of satisfying to clean.”

“I didn’t…” GLaDOS paused. “I… had a bad dream.”

“Androids don’t dream,” Doug said.

“I didn’t think so either,” GLaDOS said.

“What about?” Chell asked.

GLaDOS looked at Caroline and then back at Doug and Chell. “It doesn’t matter. All it did was make me realize that the past doesn’t belong in the present. We need to get home.”

GLaDOS missed being Caroline, and that was not a feeling she’d soon forget. But she realized she’d spent so long glorifying the past that she had trouble recognizing it for what it was: over. It was over, and all the bad things were long over too. She had to let it go. She had to accept what happened. And she had to learn to love herself, despite all the horrible things that ever got in the way. It wasn’t her fault. She had to move forward now. The future was everything, and it was all she truly had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fic is nearing its conclusion. Just a few more chapters. This was my first time writing a nightmare sequence so I hope it made enough sense to be readable while still maintaining that "this makes no sense" dreamlike feeling.


	8. Like Old Friends

The day progressed, and GLaDOS was slowly but surely recovering from her nightmare as Chell held her close, snuggled up in the corner of the conference room as Caroline and Doug made unlikely acquaintance.

Chell leaned in and gave GLaDOS a peck on the cheek, making GLaDOS fold in her arms even more.

“I’m really proud of you,” Chell muttered. “You don’t have to respond to that. I just need you to know.” Chell was right in anticipating that GLaDOS wouldn’t respond, because she just sat there quietly, in Chell’s arms, system humming in a much more reasonable fashion.

Suddenly, Caroline held her wristwatch at eye-level to check the time.

“Wow,” Caroline said. “It’s 5:30 already. We should be good to head to the lab.”

Chell cleared her throat. “Hold on,” she interrupted audibly.

Everyone turned to her.

“Why didn’t we just use some portals?”

Caroline twisted her face in confusion. “Huh?”

Chell stood up. “Portal here,” she said, pointing to the wall. “Then run to the lab that has the machine. Make everyone leave. Close the door. Portal there. Then we could have done this hours ago.” She facepalmed. “What the fuck. We’ve been here for an entire day and I didn’t think to do that until now.”

GLaDOS laughed, pushing herself up as well. “See, this is why I like to test you. You complain about the tests, but once we start to slack off, you forget how to think with portals.”

“It’s not like you remembered either,” Doug said as a counterpoint.

“I was testing her memory,” GLaDOS said confidently. “Test results: geriatric. Her mind is decaying. It needs constant stimulation or we’re all doomed.”

Chell patted her on the back. “It’s okay if you forgot how to use portals, my love. I won’t think you’re any less smart,” she said sarcastically.

GLaDOS rolled her eyes. “Let’s just get moving. Before Doug over here starts to lose his mind too. What’s the half life on ziprasidone again, Doug? Seven hours, yes?” She laughed. “Be careful around this one. Let him go too long and he’ll try to--”

“Whatever happened to the past not belonging in the present?” Doug snapped.

GLaDOS looked stunned, taken aback, as if she wasn’t expecting a genuine retaliation. As if she didn’t even think her words would have had an impact on him at all. What GLaDOS meant to say was that she  _ was  _ speaking of the present, that he hadn’t changed, that he didn’t forgive her, so why should she have to be the one to bury the hatchet in her own mind? What was the difference between her mocking his affliction and him mocking what she went through? That’s what she was desperate to say, in the coldest way possible. But instead, before she could stop herself, she said, “Because you were my best friend.”

“I wasn’t your friend, GLaDOS. I was your engineer.”

“No,” GLaDOS replied. “You went out of your way to be kind to me when the others weren’t. You were my only friend.”

“That’s not friendship. That’s just me being polite to make my job easier.”

GLaDOS looked hurt, betrayed, and she didn’t even think it was true, but she had no idea what to say.

“You think I was your friend because you didn’t have anyone to compare me to. And what kind of friendship is that? You asked me to kill for you.”

“I did not,” she said bitterly. “I asked you to help me.”

He sighed. “I’m sorry you had to learn this, but I wasn’t your friend and I don’t owe you an apology for doing my job. It’s evident that you’ve been damaged very much, and I do feel sorry for you, but ultimately--”

“Don’t pity me,” GLaDOS said.

“You needed a friend. It just wasn’t me.”

“You’re lying,” she spat.

Caroline stepped between the two of them before nodding to GLaDOS to step back. She turned to Doug. “Is it easier to pretend I’m not your friend in the future?”

Doug gave her a puzzled look.

“Obviously I screw you over. And to be betrayed by a friend? That stings. Sometimes it’s easier to pretend you were betrayed by an enemy. Someone you never cared about, or had a connection with.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Doug asked.

“It means I think we must share something in the future, but we both hurt each other too much to acknowledge what we lost. It only adds to the pain.” She shrugged. “Mr. Johnson is like a father to me. But I can bet that GLaDOS would never acknowledge that. I can bet that she pretends she never relied on him for anything. I know, because that’s exactly what I’d do. I never liked him -- that’s exactly what I’d say to cover up the embarrassment and betrayal. And you’re doing that too, Doug, aren’t you?”

Doug stared at her in shock. “Call it what you want,” he mumbled.

“Try again,” Caroline asked in the tone of voice of an impatient mother, crossing her arms.

“She was my friend,” he forced out. “But I’m not happy about it.”

“Uh-uh,” Caroline lectured. “Don’t be difficult, now. You two need to work this out now. I just need something good to happen.”

“What am I supposed to say?” he demanded. “She was a robot. I’m sorry, no, she’s  _ still  _ a robot. This is ridiculous.”

“Doug,” GLaDOS began, “we don’t have to work this out now.”

“Huh?” he asked, taken aback by the comment.

“I mean, Chell and I didn’t move past what we did to each other in the span of a few minutes. It’d be unfair to expect the same for the both of us now. All I’m saying is, maybe we can just do the whole apology exchange kumbaya nonsense later. Let’s just air out our dirty laundry now so it will be fresh in our minds for when we’re ready to talk it out.”

“I’ll go make sure the lab is clear,” Caroline said quickly as she headed towards the door, obviously desperate to extract herself from the conversation. Chell was left behind, and GLaDOS felt guilty that Chell was once again exposed to hers and Doug’s bickering. She only hoped this conversation would have a nice ending.

“Dirty laundry?”

“I’ll go first. I know I was a toxic friend. I asked you to help me kill your coworkers. Plus, I instilled a morality crisis in you every time you spoke to me which obviously caused you a hefty amount of internal guilt that must have cost you a fortune in therapy visits.”

“Hmm…” Doug said.

“I made you watch me kill your coworkers. I intentionally said things I knew would worsen your, uh...condition,” she continued, “while you were off your medication because I was angry. And that was wrong.” She crossed her arms. “There. Let me know if I forgot something. Your turn.”

Doug’s eyes widened in surprise, but he shook it off. “Alrighty. Whatever. I was complicit in everything they did to you. I know that. I knew that. And I built half the cores that went on you even though I knew they’d cause you distress. I treated you subhuman, because I refused to think any more of you. Which means I was also a toxic friend. I guess I also tried to get you killed.” He took a deep breath. “Oh, and I vandalized your facility with my gorgeous artwork.”

“Well,” GLaDOS began, “that was satisfying to hear. I guess we have a time machine to fix now. Let’s get a move on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was shorter than I thought it was, sorry about that.


	9. The Butterfly Effect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter was not my strongest work so I decided to go ahead and publish the one after it to make up for that. Sorry, life's been busy.

“So,” Caroline began, sounding troubled as she chose her words carefully. “What happens next?”

“Well, once Doug is done fixing the machine, we go back to our time. And you continue on with yours,” GLaDOS replied.

“I just continue on,” she said with a bitter laugh. “Yeah, right.”

“You know you’re good at that. Continuing on.”

“I already know how things end. What’s the point?”

GLaDOS contemplated her reply. “You don’t know how things end. Neither do I. Time continues in a straight line.”

“Not anymore. It’s broken apart. It's become perpendicular. We’re not supposed to meet each other like this. We’re not supposed to meet each other at all.” Caroline’s brows furrowed together. “We already know each other too well.”

“I’ve always wanted to find a way back to myself,” GLaDOS admitted. “To say that I’m sorry. I need you to keep living. Everything has to stay the same.”

Caroline looked like she didn’t want to hear a single thing her future self was saying.

“Besides, you’ve got quite a bit to look forward to.”

“Huh?”

“Like the space race. In 1963, they’ll send the first woman into space. Her name is Valentina Tereshkova. And then they’ll send two men to the moon--”

“Hold on, what?--”

“I know, it’s not as interesting as women, but--”

“On the moon?! As in, the one in the sky?”

Doug looked up from his work after hearing Caroline’s outburst. “You’re spoiling the future? I think that’s against the rules.”

“Oh, and you’re going to love Star Trek,” she said, ignoring Doug.

Caroline laughed. “I have absolutely no idea what that means.”

“And in 1969, you’re going to meet your best friend. So just… relax. That’s all I’m saying. Just roll with the punches. Don’t worry about what comes next.”

“You know I can’t do that,” Caroline said, although her smile indicated that she felt relieved at GLaDOS’s words. “But I’ll try. For you.”

“For yourself,” GLaDOS said. “Now. Today. You’ve got to be able to live with your current self, too. You’ve only got her for forever.”

“That’s--”

“Don’t say unmotivating.”

Chell smiled at the both of them. “You’ve got quite an exciting future ahead of you,” she signed. “So just don’t worry about it. And you--” she continued, pointing at GLaDOS. “Spoilers are against the rules.”

“Oh, come on,” both GLaDOS and Caroline complained at once.

“A woman in space,” Caroline emphasized. “I just had to know that one.”

“GLaDOS, give me a hand, yeah?” Doug called. “I need your help with part of this.”

GLaDOS stood up. “Ah, but it’s a trap,” she joked as she walked over. “You’ve created a device to disarm me, haven’t you? That’s been your scheme all along--”

“This part here needs fixing,” he interrupted, pointing towards a button Chell couldn’t quite identify. “And you call _ me _paranoid.”

Chell smiled when she saw the two of them looking at each other in a way that didn’t appear like they were about to rip each other’s faces off. Their interactions seemed awkward, like they were trying and failing to pick up where they left off, stumbling over awkward conversations. Chell knew GLaDOS was smart enough to realize eventually that they needed a cleaner slate, and she only hoped Doug would realize it too.

“So, I take it you were my test subject,” Caroline said quietly to Chell. “Just, you seemed so adamant that you were no longer testing. After I asked you, earlier today.”

“It’s how we meet,” Chell said, signing discreetly.

“Oh, that’s a… well, it’s an interesting love story.” She placed her hands in her lap. “Do you know when things start to fall apart? Here in my time, I mean,” she asked.

Chell shook her head. “I actually don’t know that much about the timeline here. I know a little about what happened. Even GLaDOS has forgotten a lot, though. So I think you’ll have to piece this one together yourself.” Chell smiled. “You know, I’m adopted,” she added.

“Oh?”

“And you kind of make fun of me for it. In the future. I didn’t realize it’s because you missed your mom.”

Caroline’s eyes widened in disbelief. “I--”

“You’ll find things that fill in the gaps that your family left. Believe me. You’ve got a lot in store for you. Don’t focus on the bad.”

“That’s all I’ve heard you two say today.”

“Well hey, you may be a bit of a liar, but I’m not. And you know when and when not to trust yourself. So just use your intuition, I guess.”

“I can’t argue with that.”

Chell sighed. “I’m sorry this happens to you. I always have been.”

“Don’t be,” Caroline replied. “I really can’t imagine it going down any other way.”

“We’re about ready,” Doug called. He motioned for Caroline to come over, too. “I need you to disable this thing once we go through. We don’t need any more fiascos.”

“Smart thinking,” GLaDOS said, and Chell would have guessed GLaDOS was sucking up a little to get the approval of her former friend if she wasn’t wearing a completely neutral face.

The device itself still seemed unstable as it came to life, and GLaDOS said it looked like they only had a little bit of time before it went rogue again.

“It’s now or never,” Doug said.

Chell took one last look at the room, one last look at Caroline. She was so beautiful, with her pin curled hair and cherry red lips, her fair skin and brown eyes. But never as beautiful as the computer she fell in love with.

“You take care of yourself,” Chell said audibly, and she watched as GLaDOS gave Caroline one last nod, with a stern look as if to say “be on your best behavior.”

Before she knew it, they were back in the lab, miraculously having landed in the same place this time. There was a moment of stark silence, as if they were all trying to process what happened. And how could they process it? How could they even summarize this day?

* * *

Chell barely even realized that she’d taken a nap until she’d woken up in her room in Aperture, not feeling any less confused about the day than before. She stretched and yawned, making her way out of her room and into GLaDOS’s main chamber, stumbling upon a surprisingly cordial conversation between GLaDOS and Doug. She hung back to eavesdrop.

“You know,” Doug said with a sly smile. “I was instructed not to talk to you. The first time they sent me out to you.”

GLaDOS chuckled. “You should follow directions more often.”

“I think I’m glad I didn’t,” he said.

“You enjoy almost getting murdered by a vindictive robot?”

“Eh, I’ve met more vindictive humans,” he said with a shrug.

“Like Henry--” they both said at the same time. They looked at each other and laughed.

“What makes a person that despicable, I wonder,” Doug remarked.

GLaDOS shrugged. “I could think of a few reasons, but what’s the point? Let's just be glad we're not him.”

“It’d be nice for things to stay like this,” Doug said. “Safe, friendly. You know?”

“Me?” GLaDOS asked sarcastically. “Safe and friendly? You’ve got a looser grip on reality than I thought.”

He flipped her off. “I was talking about Chell, actually,” he joked. “Not everything is about you, GLaDOS.”

“Yeah GLaDOS, not everything is about you,” Chell agreed, waltzing into the room.

“Wow, look who never learned to mind her own business,” GLaDOS said with a grin, turning around to face her. She scooted over a bit to allow room for Chell to take a seat between the two of them. “I see no reason why it can’t stay like this,” GLaDOS finally said. “And now I’ve got two humans to test--”

Chell cut her off with a glare.

“I’m kidding. I’m kidding.”

Chell sighed and smiled, glancing over briefly at Doug who did the same. This definitely isn’t how she planned her day to unfold. It surely wasn’t in Doug or GLaDOS’s agenda either. And yet, Chell realized it changed everything for the better. She was able to get to know Doug, and all the intricacies of their unknown interactions. She learned a lot about GLaDOS. She even learned a lot about herself, and just how oddly her life had been derailed by Aperture, and yet how she wouldn’t change it.

“I’m sure you’ve all heard of the butterfly effect,” GLaDOS began. “The smallest change to the past will greatly affect the future, in ways you cannot even imagine. That’s all I could think about, while we were stuck down in that asbestos riddled trauma trap. What would be different? What would change? What would I come back to?”

“And your conclusion?” Doug entertained.

“It’s not real. The only thing that’s different is that… I don’t really feel anxious anymore. I think I feel a whole lot more like myself. No longer a shell.”

“There’s no time like the present,” Doug said.

“You’re so cheesy it practically hurts,” GLaDOS muttered.

“Gee, thanks. It’s nice to have you back, too.”

And it was, Chell thought. It was nice to have back an environment that wasn’t so tense with anxiety and fear and regret. It was nothing but moving forward from now on. It was time for time to move in a straight line.


	10. Imperfect Replicas

Caroline made the lonely trek back to her apartment, and although she was on her own, things felt unusually okay. The stars were out, the light streaming out of the windows of the apartment complex illuminated the snow in the dark night, and each breath Caroline took turned frosty in the cold air. It was beautiful, but Caroline knew none of this would last forever. In the morning, it’d all disappear, and look different the next night. It was all so transient, in such a permanent state of change, if there was ever such an oxymoron.

“You okay?” one of Caroline’s coworkers asked, hopping down the steps from the second floor and meeting her. “You look a little bit like a deer in the headlights.”

She smiled. “I’m fine.” She paused. “How long do you plan on working here?”

“Uh,” he stuttered, “I mean, hopefully a while. Why?”

“I just wonder what would ever be a final straw for you.”

He scratched his chin. “Getting fired, I guess.”

“What about ethics? Lack thereof? Would that break you?”

He laughed. “Caroline, this is Aperture Science. We threw ethics out the window years ago.”

“But I mean, where do you draw the line? Testing a test subject is fine, right?”

“Correct,” he agreed.

“What about a friend?”

“But we’re not testing friends.”

“No,” she said. “I suppose not. I’m just saying, perhaps one day someone you or one of your coworkers you personally know would end up being the experiment, and then where would you be? Instigating, or would you flee the scene? Or would you stop it? Where do you draw the line, Henry?”

“Are you drunk?” Henry asked. “Do you need help getting back to your apartment?”

Caroline shook her head. “Who, me? Not drunk. Just curious. That’s the hallmark of a perfect scientist, right?”

Henry inhaled. “Maybe you should put a pause on your morality crisis and get some sleep. You’re creeping me out,” he said, passing her by as he walked towards the car lot.

Caroline’s stomach dropped, but she took a deep breath before continuing her thoughts. There was a lot she could do tonight. She could get drunk, sure, or she could call her parents, or she could leave quietly and never come back. But she knew all three options wouldn’t be good for her. So what could she do? She was lonely, and maybe it was best to sleep early. Or maybe, just this once, she’d do something spontaneous.

“Wait, Henry,” she called, running after him. “I can’t believe I’m asking you this, but can you give me a ride somewhere?”

* * *

“So where are we headed, exactly?” Henry said as he turned the keys in the ignition.

“Um…” Caroline trailed off.

“A bridge? Because that’s how unstable you’re coming off as right now.”

She rolled her eyes. “Funny. But no.” She gave Henry details, although she wasn’t exactly sure why she wanted to go there. She knew she couldn’t enter, say hello, have dinner, get a hug. She couldn’t solve any objective. She wasn’t welcome there anymore, and yet, she knew she just needed to look. To let go. To say goodbye.

“Friend’s house?” he asked.

“Something like that, yes.”

He put the car in drive and headed off, the street lights reflecting off snowflakes and hitting the wet asphalt, emitting a beautiful glow.

“Does Mr. Johnson know you’re on the verge of snapping?”

Caroline pouted. “I’m not about to snap, Henry,” she said, fed up.

“I’m just joking with you,” he said as he made a smooth turn down another road. “But hey, since you asked me, it’s only fair that I ask you.”

“What?”

“What would your final straw be? Is it an ethics thing?”

“I don’t think anything could break me from that place.”

“So if you had to test a friend?”

“So be it,” she muttered reluctantly.

“Anything for science,” he replied with a small laugh.

“I guess so,” she said, so quietly she thought her voice would break. “Oh, this is my stop.”

He hit the breaks. “This isn’t a house.”

“But it’s my street. I’ll take it from here. And don’t bother picking me up. I’m--” she cut herself off. “I’m not snapping. I just want to walk home.”

“In the snow?” he asked in disbelief.

“I’ll be fine,” she said as she exited the car.

He nodded. “Well, I’m glad you’re not snapping. The last thing we need is for our “backbone” to wash up dead on the shore of Lake Michigan. Try to get a hold of yourself, Caroline,” he said as he shut the door and pulled off down the road.

Get a hold of herself. She almost laughed at the idea. She was the most sure of herself she had been in a long time. Caroline knew her purpose, now. She knew her fate. It was all about filling in the gaps, experiencing the sweet things she’d been promised. Even if it was littered with heartbreak, whose life wasn’t?

Caroline walked up to her childhood home, refusing to allow herself to go knock on the door, even despite how tempting the warm lights flooding out the window looked. She desperately wanted to, but she knew that wasn’t why she was here, even if they would let her in. The door still looked like it needed a fresh coat of paint, but there was a new, lovely welcome mat, which she thought rather ironic. There were no Christmas lights outside, but she could see, through the sheer curtains, the outline of a tall evergreen, most likely covered in the tinsel her father hated so much.

Caroline moved on and walked by the little church her parents always dragged her to, seeing the cross on the top of the building become home to the birds who hadn’t made their winter migration. The paint was chipping, and the steps needed to be salted. Icicles dangled from the archway of the entrance, big and sharp enough to kill if knocked down.

She walked further, her fingers nearly numb from the cold, until she came upon the school she went to as a child. She saw the tree she used to sit under with her friends, bare of any leaves. She saw the playground, with all its swings and seesaws and things to climb, covered in slick ice. It was all so much smaller than she remembered. What used to look enormous to her as a child was now registering in her brain as tiny. It was no longer meant for her.

It was all imperfect replicas of the memories in her mind, like she was seeing everything through a distorted lens. That must have been how GLaDOS saw her, and the thought almost made her cry. But she remembered, now that the hole in time had been repaired, she wasn’t on a broken line of time with GLaDOS. That was her. They weren’t replicas of each other at all. She was just in a permanent state of change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the final chapter. Thank you for reading and I hope you all enjoyed.


End file.
